


Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and REVOLUTION (Alternatively: Precourser to the Great Hall Barricade Incident)

by Dorkangel



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Hogwarts, Marius Is Literally A Seabird, Multi, Oblivious Enjolras, Pining Grantaire, Short Chapters, Slice of Life, Slytherin Cosette, Veela Enjolras, Werewolf Grantaire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-24 00:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorkangel/pseuds/Dorkangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's only nine am on September First, and on board the Hogwarts Express there's already a werewolf, two bros, a veela revolutionary, a booby, a romantic, two halfblood nerds, the cutest Slytherins you wouldn't ever want to mess with, a very small very angry hypochondriac, a cursed kid, and a Musichetta. What could possibly go wrong?</p><p> </p><p>EDIT 05.23.2016: This work has been abandoned. Sorry. If anyone's interested in continuing it, please contact me: if not, it will probably eventually be deleted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Grantaire, Bahorel, Feuilly, Musichetta

**Author's Note:**

> Art for this here: http://dustyfolchart.tumblr.com/post/130153413043/i-drew-the-amis-as-hogwarts-students-and-the (By me!)

"Spending the year _moon_ ing over Apollo again?"  
Grantaire doesn't even need to look up to see who's making the joke. He does anyway, of course, and just as he thought there would be is Bahorel's intolerably smug face pressed up against the compartment window.  
"Really?" he groans, even as Feuilly appears like a well-mannered Polish shadow next to the taller boy. "A werewolf pun? Already?"  
"Dude, you have had six weeks werewolf-pun free. I gotta make up for lost time." As he's speaking, Bahorel shoulders the door open and collapses into the seat opposite Grantaire, casually slinging an arm around Feuilly's shoulders.  
"He is showing off his low new voice." smiles Feuilly, in bright spirits as he usually is when school started again. Also as usual, his accent got stronger over the summer. "Because he spent all _his_ six weeks with voice cracking up like a little girl."  
"Ooh!" cackles Grantaire, even as Bahorel gapes at his friend, offended.  
"Bro!"  
"Bro."  
"Bro."  
"Bro."  
There's a heavy sigh at the door, and, _man_ , if Grantaire wasn't so ridiculously infatuated with a blonde, ponytailed man-angel he would be totally tripping over his feet for the girl at the door. Like every other guy in school.  
"'Chetta." he nods to her, over his friends' continued 'Bro'ing, and gets an honestly blinding smile back.  
"Hey, 'Aire. Have you seen Joly? He got up to go find the trolley witch and we think he got lost."  
"No sign of him. Sorry." In the background, Bahorel tackles Feuilly, but Muischetta and Grantaire ignore them. "If I see a tiny little Korean kid, I'll shout for you."  
"Love ya, thanks." She disappears, but then pokes her curly head around the door again two seconds later, a somewhat more sympathetic look on her face. All he can think is that if her next sentence has absolutely anything to do with his 'condition', he's not speaking to her for a week. 'Chetta is more or less the only person who pretends like he's normal- or, a normal _wizard_ , at least.  
"Jehan's showing Courf' some flower charms, by the way."  
"So?"  
Bahorel's head hits the window with a crash, and Musichetta has to duck out of the way of Feuilly's kicking legs.  
" _So_ ," she stresses, rolling her eyes. "Enjolras is in the same cabin as one of your closest friends, if you want an excuse to talk to him or anything."  
Grantaire smiles back. He kind of has to really. "Is it that obvious?"  
"Pl-ease. Just because _Apollo_ is chronically love-blind. You're pining, it's adorable."  
And, in a swish of school robes and fluffy hair, she marches off.


	2. Marius, Courfeyrac, Combeferre, Enjolras, Jehan

"God, Pontmercy, you are taller than any fifteen year old has a right to be. Just... stop."  
Marius blushes right to the roots of his ashy hair, and Courfeyrac gets smacked simultaneously on both shoulders by Enjolras and Combeferre respectively. On the other side of their compartment, Jehan sends the look of a kicked puppy his way.  
"Don't be an asshole, Courf'." admonishes Combeferre, even as Marius's toes curl uncomfortably in his - admittedly, stupidly huge - shoes and he hesitates to sit down. "Did you have a good summer, Marius?"  
"It was alright." he shrugs vaguely, shuffling past Jehan so that he can stretch his long legs out by the window. "My grandfather insisted that we go to Edinburgh for two weeks, but other than that he mainly left me alone."  
"I had to spend mine with my father," interjects Enjolras sympathetically. "It was _grim_."  
"I keep saying," Courfeyrac agrees, staring at Marius with big puppy eyes. "If you ever need a place to go for summer, there is nothing that could surprise my mum anymore."  
The cabin all smile at him, reluctantly or not, and he grins.  
"Seriously! Dad enchanted a kettle a few days ago without telling her, you should have seen her face."  
"I love it when your mum and my mum get together." adds Combeferre, friendlily elbowing his smaller friend. "She always looks like she's going to have a heart attack."  
"That's because your mum enchants her clothes to talk."  
"My older brother is trying a basic sentience spell on the house." nods Jehan helpfully, with that wavering little smile that makes girls want to snuggle with him. "It threw him out of the window with his bedroom floor yesterday, so either it worked or the nargles are back."  
"Sentience?" asks Combeferre. He has that look of ' _hmm, fascinating_ ' on his face again, - a little frown between his eyebrows, his head tilted curiously - and even Enjolras, with his famously stoic disposition, can barely maintain a politely interested face. "How does that work? Scientifically?"  
Jehan just purses his lips and slowly shakes his head, confused. "I wouldn't know, 'Ferre. I'm pretty sure my brother has never even met a muggle properly. He just used magic."  
This year is going to be better than most, anyway. Combeferre can finally take Muggle Studies - _your father is a muggle, 'Ferre, you already know about them, why are you... never mind_ \- Enjolras has already got a plan to get into a fight with the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Javert, and Marius has the freedom to throw himself into History of Magic again without his grandfather leaning over him, yelling that it's a girl's subject and a shameful thing for a Pontmercy. Not bad at all.


	3. Cosette and Eponine

"Five galleons that 'Aire finally works up the courage to ask Enjolras to the Halloween Ball."  
"Ten galleons that they make out in the owlery."  
Cosette laughs so hard at her friend's lewd eyebrow-waggling at that that she almost falls off her seat.  
"Merlin, Eponine! You can't just put that image into my head, _gross_ -"  
"What, you don't like the idea of a cuddly lil' Hufflepuff all over the marble angel of doom and righteousness? Or are you saying that you wouldn't totally jump at Enjolras given the chance?"  
"Stop!"  
This time, Cosette actually does manage to slide onto the floor laughing, and Eponine's mask slips for a moment as she giggles too and helps her up.  
"I don't think that Enjolras knows girls exist, actually." she intones thoughtfully, dusting herself off gracefully, and Eponine snorts.  
"He doesn't know that Grantaire exists either, poor thing. Grantaire's pining is worse than my First Year crush on The Dork."  
Cosette's smile fades a little bit. "Don't call him that." she frowns. "He's nice, he's just a bit awkward."  
"Just kiss him already, Jee-zus. Are you a Slytherin or not?"  
Cosette pokes her tongue out and glances around for Musichetta, Bossuet, and/or Joly. They've been gone a while now, so unless Joly has actually managed to lock himself in the loos again, they should have been back by now.  
"Hey? Earth to Cosette?" calls Eponine, flicking her fringe out of her face in frustration.  
"What?" smiles the smaller girl, turning back to her friend. "You're saying I should muster my cunning and trick Marius into snogging me like a true Slytherin?"  
Eponine nods sagely. "That is _exactly_ what I'm saying." And then, as if she read Cosette's mind: "Do you think we should go find the Musketeers?"  
"You can't call them the Musketeers."  
"Why not? There's three of them."  
Cosette's father encourages her to read muggle books as well as wizarding ones, fiction and informational. It's actually kind of sweet, how earnest his interest in her education is. She _knows_ about the Three Musketeers, okay?  
"Because the Musketeers are badass." she explains, smiling.  
Eponine shrugs, gathering up her stuff to go looking for Musichetta and her boyfriends. "'Chetta is badass enough for three."


	4. Bossuet, Joly, Musichetta, and a wild Montparnasse

"Oof!"  
Just Bossuet's luck - literally. He can never be truly sure whether it's the curse that accidentally struck him as a child or just natural misfortune, but, running into Montparnasse scarcely ten minutes after boarding the Hogwarts Express? That's just _too_ unlucky.  
"The eagle has landed." sneers the older boy as Bossuet struggles upright, and Bossuet is suddenly seized by the desire to punch Montparnasse's pretty face in. "Isn't that right, L'Aigle?"  
There it is. Lesgle, his first name, apparently sounds far too much like the French for 'Eagle' for Montparnasse to pass up- like sharing a name with an area of Paris isn't stupid or anything.  
"Hey," cut a sharp little voice, familiar and welcome. "Trying to start something, 'Parnasse?"  
"Joly," he sighs, picking himself off the floor and watching as Montparnasse glances dismissively over his shoulder at the tiny Ravenclaw. "You wouldn't even be half as tall as him if you sat on Courf's shoulders. Don't."  
"Yeah, kiddo," smirks Montparnasse. "Piss off."  
"I will kick your goddamn teeth in." Joly snarls, approximately five feet of absolute fury.  
"Like hell could you reach."  
Fortunately, - or unfortunately, depending on whether you felt like watching a prissy sixth year and a angry fifth year scrap it out with all the fighting ability of newborn kittens - that is the point that Musichetta appears at the end of the coach. Memories of her grabbing Montparnasse by his (pristine) shirt front and threatening to throw him off the astrology tower last year flash through the back of Bossuet, Joly, and apparently Montparnasse's head too, if the way he swallows nervously is anything to go by.  
"Not worth the energy anyway." he mumbles - or something to that effect - and darts off; Musichetta, meanwhile, just beams, safe in the knowledge that her reputation precedes her.  
"There's my boys  
Bossuet would actually have to bend to about half his height to allow her to put an arm over his shoulder, as they discovered via trial and error, but she's quite content to just sling it around his waist instead. They must make a strange sight: a Hufflepuff girl with bright eyes, one arm around the waist of a tall Gryffindor, the other cuddling a tiny Ravenclaw close to her.  
"We're not her boys." Joly objects petulantly, and Bossuet frowns at him over her head.  
"Yes we are."  
She raises an eyebrow, and his scowl melts.  
"...yeah, we are."


	5. Grantaire, Feuilly, Bahorel

"Did you know that there is a Giant Squid in the lake?"  
"I'm gonna _fight it_."  
By this point, Grantaire, Bahorel, and Feuilly have finished the stash of sweets that Feuilly's sisters gave him and that Grantaire bought from the trolley witch, and the conversation has devolved into a long discussion of what Feuilly learned about Hogwarts on his summer holiday, during which time he read Hogwarts: A History _twice_.  
"You can't fight it." Grantaire puts in, dampening Bahorel's sudden excitement a little. "It's about twenty times your size."  
"And I suppose you've seen it, then, 'Aire?"  
"We magical creatures have got to stick together."  
They laugh because they think he's joking, but there's actually more than a little truth to that. He remembers - albeit vaguely - howling in his wolf form next to the lake, and these enormous tentacles rising from the deep like they were responding to his howls, writhing and curling and big enough to easily take on an entire ship, never mind Bahorel.  
Bahorel thinks for a moment, and then his eyes light up.  
"Shall we feed Marius to it?"  
"No!"  
"He called us 'Mudbloods' in first year."  
Grantaire cringes awkwardly at the use of the slur, and even Feuilly, with his entirely muggle upbringing, glances around uncomfortably to make sure no one misheard Bahorel's use of it. Seeming to realise his mistake, Bahorel rubs the back of his neck and glances down.  
"Uh. Sorry."  
"S'okay. Marius didn't know any better, anyway. We can't feed him to the squid for something his grandfather taught him to say when he was eleven."  
"Is male-bonding?" Feuilly suggests. Bahorel brightens immediately.  
"Yeah! Kid needs to grow some balls, man. Then he could finally ask Cosette out."  
"I don't _dis_ agree with you," Grantaire hums slowly. "But I'm pretty sure it's not male-bonding if dying is a requisite part of the activity."  
They frown at him, disappointed, and he shrugs. What can he say, he's a skeptic.


	6. Enjolras, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Jehan, Marius

"You're channelling that 'Avenging Archangel' face again."  
Enjolras glances up from the book he's reading and, yeah, okay, maybe he is frowning a bit with a somewhat angry look in his eyes.  
"Surely it's not that bad?" he smiles up at Combeferre, but before he can further object or Courfeyrac can assure him that he looks _fine_ , (that boy is the most Hufflepuff-esque Hufflepuff Enjolras has ever met, honestly, he hugs everyone), Jehan is holding up a finger for silence so that they can listen to his poetry.  
"With charming features carved from stone and hair like finely woven gold, from Heaven's gate he did descend, to lead the Gryffindors as..."  
He breaks off, and the other four boys in the cabin hold their breath as Jehan's eyes go big and round with sadness.  
"Nothing rhymes with 'Seeker'. Or 'Quidditch team'."  
"It doesn't have to rhyme," Marius assures him quickly. "It was good as it was."  
"'Down from heaven's gate, it seems, to lead the Gryffindor Quidditch team'?" suggests Courfeyrac, and Enjolras goes back to his book in embarrassment.  
"I wish you'd all stop comparing me to an angel. Or a statue. Or a statue of an angel."  
"We shall compare you to Charles Jeanne, then. Revolutionary leader!"  
"Please stop."  
"It could be worse," Jehan says, rummaging around in his bag for a notebook, presumably so he can make some improvements on his poem. "We could constantly call you 'Apollo', like 'Aire does."  
"Oh my _god_ ," groans Enjolras, shoving his book down on the table in disgust. "Don't. He must hate me, Jesus. I don't know why he does it."  
Courfeyrac and Jehan facepalm simultaneously while Combeferre coughs into his hand to disguise a laugh, but both Marius and Enjolras exchange a look a confusion. Really, sometimes he doesn't understand a thing about his friends.


	7. Cosette and Eponine

Joly, Lesgle and Musichetta reappeared for about two minutes before concluding that the cabin was super crowded ( _no offence you guys_ ) and heading off to find an empty one for themselves. Which leaves just Cosette and Eponine on their own, examining timetables.  
"I'll take Charms if you do." Cosette says vaguely, chewing on the end of her pencil.  
Eponine just snorts.  
"You'll need it, 'Ponine. And you can't drop Defence Against the Darks Art _and_ Charms, you need some kind of practical spellcasting-"  
"I'll do Potions instead, calm your t-"  
"That's not spellcasting and you know it."  
"Yeah, but it is practical." Her expression brightens suddenly. "Hey, talking of practical: Quidditch tryouts!"  
Cosette groans dramatically, but Eponine only laughs at her.  
"Every year!" she whines, shaking her head. "Every year."  
"Not first year."  
True. But when Quidditch tryouts were running in their first year, Cosette was too busy avoiding Eponine, the other Slytherins, and in fact most other students in general, to be friends, whereas now she gets the fun of having to deal with Eponine's favourite pastimes- Quidditch, and laughing at Cosette attempting to play Quidditch and failing spectacularly every year.  
It's hilarious.  
(And if either of them have ever heard teachers - or even some of the older students - whispering about Fantine Fauchelevant, the Quidditch Ace killed in the last war by some scumbag Deatheater, or if either of them have ever paused at an old trophy cabinet and found her name under the winning Gryffindor Quidditch team at what must have been her last year at Hogwarts, then, well, they never mention it."  
"I'm not doing it." Cosette says firmly.  
Predictably, Eponine pretends as though she hasn't heard, tapping her fingers thoughtfully against her chin.  
"I think you should go for Beater this year."  
Ah, yes, the position on the team most likely to get sent to the hospital wing or send an enemy Beater to the hospital wing. Cosette, all five feet one inches of her, being known to cry when she steps on a bug, would probably _die_.  
"And I think you should take Charms." she shoots back.  
"Wuss."  
"Lazypants."  
She'll try out for the team, though. And Eponine'll take Charms. That's just how these things work.


	8. Joly, Bossuet, Musichetta

By the time the Express pulls in at Hogsmeade, Bossuet has managed to bang his head against the top of the carriage twice - _"That's what you get when you're that tall." "Shut up, Joly."_ \- and all three of them have compared their summers: 'Chetta went to Ibiza with her muggle parents, Joly helped his mum out in St. Mungo's, working up to an internship when he's older, and Bossuet met him at St. Mungo' seven times for various 'magical maladies'.  
"Really," Musichetta laughs. "It's amazing you're still alive."  
"The curse _was_ intended to kill, but they managed to reduce it to unlucky."  
Joly stares at him reproachfully for making this sensible, but Bossuet can only shrug. Really, when he's the sensible one in a group, you should know to be worried about the group.  
On the way out they almost fall over a group of first years, all overly neat hair and ill-fitting robes and confusion.  
Joly grins. "Aww. Were we ever like that?"  
"No. Yeah. Maybe."  
"I was never nervous," Musichetta counters. "You were far smaller than that, and Lesgle was in the hospital for the first week."  
"And we didn't know each other." finishes Bossuet. "But other than that, sure."  
"Couldn't we just pretend not to be dysfunctional for once?"  
They stare at him.  
" _No_."

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters will go up very quickly. I'm almost done!
> 
> Edit Oct.2.2015: Chapters will go up very quickly once I am back in a situation where I have wifi, so there may be up to a two week break in activity. It has not been abandoned!


End file.
